Your eyes adjust as you walk out of the packed theater. You catch the group of thugs, who decided to call out to each other and disrupt the movie. For a split second, you think back to the movie you just saw. You place yourself in the interrogation room in the Gotham precinct. One of the thugs is The Joker (though a great deal less terrifying and nowhere near as intelligent) and you are The Batman (go ahead use your Gravelly voice “I’M NOT WEARING HOCKEY PADS!”). Man, I bet a little smirk makes its way to your face. It’s alright, I allow you. After all, that is one of the perks of escaping into a fantasy world. You have the power to do what you want.
Oh boy, and what a fantasy world The Dark Knight was. We all know Gotham City, right? We grew up watching Batman: the Animated series. When I say we, I mean all of us, not just us guys who lost our virginity late in college. I’m sure out there, even one of the cool jocks from your high school, who is now either a bad ass cop, or works on wall street, could tell you who the head of the police in Gotham city is. He could name at least five members of Batman’s Rogues Gallery (well, you might have to explain what a Rogues Gallery is, at first) and what there real names are.
We all know that the Penguin is Oswald Cobbelpot. I mean come on, Danny Devito used that name at least ten times in Batman Returns, and each of us has seen that movie at least a half a dozen times since it came out.
We grew up, with Gotham as a vacation spot. All of us. A city that, as adults, we would stay as far away from as possible. If Gotham existed, we would see it on the AOL Welcome screen every couple of months. It would always be there, when they listed the Ten Most Dangerous Cities To Live In America, the little caption under the headline would read: Guess which city makes number one, for the twentieth time in a row? It is a scary place, where you are guaranteed to get mugged if you are walking alone on the street at night. You wouldn’t want to go to any clubs in Gotham, or attend any Gala events. Mr. Freeze could just pop in and say “Ice to see you” and zap you with his freeze ray.
It is a dark and brutal place, and yet growing up, every so often, we would take a little trip there, when our real world seemed worse.
Some of us would get even more adventurous, and take a trip to Metropolis, to hang out with a certain Man of Steel. And for a very select few of us, we would travel even further from our real world home. We would travel to Coast City, to catch a glimpse of Green Lantern while he was back on Earth, or we would travel to Keystone city, hoping to feel the wind, as a red blur shot by (for those of you non-dorks, that would be what the Flash would look like).
Personally, I take vacations to these cities at least once a month, and I am way beyond my ‘developmental years’. I am adult who loves comics, plain and simple. But you don’t have to feel awkward around me. I don’t refer to characters like the Hulk or Booster Gold (who?) as if they are real people. I don’t dress up as Hellboy ,when I wait in line behind Vulcans, to get into Comiccon.
Those who know me, know I am obsessed with comics, but I don’t shove it in people’s faces. I pretend to be a normal person, like you. With this column, I hope to make you a full fledged comics enthusiast, while retaining your normal person secret identity. I want you to come here, every Thursday morning, and listen to me ramble on about what I bought in my favorite comic book store. I will save the trip for you. I wont use terms like “ret-conning” or “Pre-Crisis”. I will talk like the average Entertainment Weekly reporter, who is covering something in the world of Comics. I am your ambassador, Your tour guide (and if I get you hooked on a book) the dealer hiding in the alley (just not in Gotham, Batman will pounce my ass, then).
So, for each of you who entertained the thought of “Should I go pick up a comic?” after you wiped the drool off your chin caused by watching The Dark Knight, make your way over to this column every week. I can get you started on the right path. Next week will be the first step.