You spot them, a stranger of whom you find attractive. Why? I am not asking in the chemical or metaphysical sense but simply the physical. What was it that your eye first perceived that you deemed this individual to be of that special status of “hot”? What if there was a wacky old theory that you have a subconscious fetish of sorts? As well does the person in the next room and your mom too. Gather closer around and read on.

I find myself alone in public waiting for something, anything. It has been a long day and quite comparably to that of being in a graveyard looking for life, desert seeking water, Rock the Harbor waiting for attendees… I find myself asking “Is there not a decent looking woman out today”? Then I see her. When I tell you her stomach was pristine I understate. Her stomach had just the right curves smooth, subtle and streamlined like god was thinking about the 1953 Corvette when this girl was under genetic production. Her hair is normal, I note her face, adorable but she looks pissed. Probably because I look like a skell and am obviously “checking her out” so to speak. Her legs are less than great- Houston, we have problem. She is noted to have sex organs, nice mammary glands at that but my particular interests are not met, I finish my cigarette and keep moving as that Stones tune “You cant always get what you want” plays in my brain.

My buddy Magnus Hirschfeld (a real Sexologist!) in the 1920’s introduced a theory called “partial attractiveness”, which argued that we are not attracted to someone as one piece but by discovering individual features they may have. Even back then when a “fetish” was considered a disease this loose “Paraphilia” was suggested to be a “healthy kind of fetishism” that we all seem to engage in, perhaps are dispositional to. We all happen to favor something different for good reason. Paraphilia is considered healthy until a singular body part becomes more important than the person whose limb it belongs to. Just so we are all clear this fetish by no means is limited to just arms and legs, however non-sexual body parts only.

I thought this was worth sharing and worth ten minutes of good conversation. Sharing ones favorite parts of their significant other proved tougher than it would seem. After an hour of pulling teeth I got somewhere, the neck, hands, lower back, and mouth were answers that came up often. This reminded me that it is still a “theory” and the idea that I may subconsciously be attracted Susan’s collar bone and knees from ten yards is a little much. What is real for me is the appreciation for the unique parts every one body has. When you look at your partner’s body you take notes, moles, scars, amputations and what have you- these are very special things.

Pretend in jest that this is real for the seven minutes it takes to read. This really is a fetish we as human beings happen to share. Embrace it, love it and respect the fuck out of the fact that we can discuss it. Imagine if your spouse of only one year never told you how much they adore your shoulders, chin, lower lip, back, arms and or tummy etc. An entire year of small dosages of adoration, lost for you both. Go ahead and ask him/her when you leave this alley, what they may have first noticed about you, what part they cherish now. It may be a bit surprising, just make sure you have a well thought on answer in return just to be fare. On the flip side you should tell him/her more often how awesome that part of them is.