By recent estimates, the Democratic national convention that started Monday will top at least $120 million. With that money, the DNC could have bought over 330,000 beer kegs, a hoagie that goes from Denver (the host city) to New York, a million piñatas filled with lobster tails and there would still be money left over to finance a major film. The next day, toilets across Denver would be lined with vomit and the last shards of the economy.

Is there anything more decadent or more redundant than a major party convention? Do we really need such an elaborate spectacle to tell us what we already know—who will run for president? If so, the presumptive nominees could have accepted their party’s nomination at the opening ceremonies for the Beijing Olympics. At least then, China could have found a prettier little girl to fill in for John McCain. Or sentenced more of the elderly into forced labor camps. I know, I don’t like making old jokes about John McCain any more than you like reading them. But it’s sort of a requisite for an article of this sort.

Some would say that the conventions serve a larger purpose. For the media, that means no empty time slots for three days. For the Democrats, that’s promoting party unity and appeasing bitter Hillary Clinton supporters. For Republicans it’s a chance to read the Bible and fire their six shot revolvers in the air. For us, it allows us the chance to decide who we want to party with for the next four years.

Don’t underestimate the potential of a McCain hosted shindig. At first it may seems like a retirement party for an older uncle. But, the Mac seems like he can unexpectedly down a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon and regale you with some fucked up war stories. And he’s from Arizona so there might be some good Cajun barbecue. But, it’s just that: a good party that’s not really worth the price of cleaning up.

And one wouldn’t expect Democrats, this election cycle, to forgo the exorbitant spectacle since it would give their golden boy, Barack Obama, the chance to give another vague speech hinged on people’s discontent. Nor would the Dems refrain from the overt flamboyance that characterize them like closeted homosexuals. Doesn’t it look like Joe Biden is clenching his ass cheeks at all times?

Wouldn’t these men, both of whom herald a new brand of politics, make a huge statement by taking that large bag of cash and investing it back into America. $120 million wouldn’t save the sinking ship, but what about the symbolic showing that would make. Think about it, a politician of action and not just rhetoric. I guess that’s as idealistic as boycotting the convention all together.