"Her Dildo Adventure" 


By: Lauren  




Before my story begins, here is some history about how the dildo came to be. It has been rumored that the first vibrator was invented in the 1880s to treat what was referred to as “congestion of the genitalia” or “female hysteria.” Women were treated by doctors before the invention by what we refer to as masturbation. Dr. Kelsey Stinner thought it was too much work (I’m sure you did doc!) and invented the first vibrator. It got the job done quickly and more women were able to be seen for their ‘congested vagina.’ Today, the vibrator is one of the most popular sought out sex items on the market. 


There are many different types of vibrators for women to choose from, like the classic vibrator, anal, clitoral, g-spot, dildo, or the ever popular vibrator thanks to HBO’s Sex In The City, the rabbit. But which one is right for me? How do I know if it is going to stimulate my g-spot? 






The Adventure Begins 


I decided this morning that I am going to go buy one. It came out of nowhere in my mind. I wasn’t horny or in the mood at all. I just thought it would be fun to walk into the sex shop and have a little fun with it. The drive there was nerve racking. I drove all the way to South Ave. and decided that I am not going to go in. What if someone I know see’s me? Well, they are in there themselves to so if they tell anyone, they are ratting themselves out as well. Well, what if someone drives by on their way to the gym? I know a lot of people that go there. Fuck this. I get back in my car and drive away. Now I feel like an asshole. I wasted all that time to drive out there and I’m not even gona go in? 


Driving back to my house it dawns on me that there is another one down by Bay St. I have a better chance to not run into anyone there then the one on South I thought to myself. So I get on the expressway. I try not to think about what I’m about to do, so I blast a little music. Singing along in my car is really distracting me. I get off the exit and start to get that nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach. ‘I’m gona do it this time,’ I thought to myself. 


Trying to find parking by this place is crazy. There is people everywhere. It’s not like this place is hidden very well either. It is right smack in the middle of the street next to a Domino’s. ‘What are all these people looking at?’ as I get enough courage to walk in. There is a man standing at the door checking ID’s. I go to hand him mine, “Don’t worry about it.” he says. “We are the only ones in there besides the guy downstairs looking at videos and I doubt that he is a cop” as he points to the girl at the register and down the stairs with his other hand..I smile and walk towards the costumes. I start to feel a little awkward again as I stroll around like I know exactly what I came in here for. I’ve forgotten already why I am doing this. I start to walk downstairs and notice a heavy set man looking at the rack of gay group porn and start to feel uneasy. I turn around and walk back up the stairs and head towards the dildos. 


So here I am, standing in front of a wall of vibrators, dildos, anal balls, etc. How can I possibly choose from the variety staring me in the face, literally. Jelly ones, the rabbit, curved ones, pink ones, purple ones, bullet and clitoral ones. “So which one sells the most?” I ask the girl who has been following me around the store, I think she thinks im hot. “This one is very popular,” as she points to a pink dildo hanging on one of the racks with a price tag of $22. “I’ll take it ” I exclaim, because all I want to do is get the hell out of here. “Well don’t just buy it because I say to buy it. What kind of stimulation are you looking for?” She must have read my face because she started pointing to different products telling me what each one does. 


She explained to me that clitoral vibrators are disguised rather well as back massagers. They are great gag gifts for bachelorette parties to hide the truth from the brides mother that she is really getting a vibrator to have some fun the night before the wedding. A dildo shaped vibrator is shaped like a penis and come in various different sizes. A g-spot vibrator is similar to the traditional dildo except it has a slight curve at the end to make it easier and quicker to find your magic button. And then there is the anal vibrator she went into length explaining. I could tell she really enjoyed this one. Do I really have to explain this one people? 


Recap 






Today I learned that all vibrators do not feel the same or do the same job. They vary in speed and intensity. It also depends on how fast the hand holding the vibrator is moving. Most come with different settings. The material that the vibrator is make out of will vary depending upon the sensation the consumer is looking for. 


If you know a man who has a 6 inch or bigger penis is going to give you a great orgasm, shop for one around the same size. Don’t like anal stimulation? Then don’t bother looking at the rabbit. Your paying more for something your not going to use. Don’t like the vibration? Try turning it off or take a step back and purchase a g-spot dildo. I know I did ;). So go shop around ladies. It may take a while to find the best vibrator for you (I know because it took me an hour). Expect a lot trial and error, or hope for an educated cashier in the sex shop you drop in. So go nuts, but remember when its all said and done, always go with what you feel is right for your vagina. I know I will. 










No dildos were harmed in the making of this blog.