As some of you may know, this upcoming Friday marks the first weekend in a string of Prom weekends in high schools across America. Most people feel that Prom is very special and is a nice celebration to cap off your high school career; I am not most people.

The hype. Prom has become way too over hyped and overrated. People expect there to be so much more then there actually is. They expect shit like flashy lights, a guy with a flamethrower lighting midgets on fire while singing "Living in America" by James Brown, the guys from blue man group shooting fireworks into a crowd of teachers, dogs with sharp teeth and rabies being released onto the middle of the dance floor during a massive, vomit-inducing slow dance session, among other awesome things that I want to happen but never do.

But what I hate the most are the parents and their retarded guido children. These parents today have to be the biggest, most gullible, shit-for-brains people I've ever come across. Why do they just knowingly allow their kids to go rent hotel rooms at the Jersey Shore as an after-prom activity? What do they think that their little babies are going off to do at one in the morning after prom? Drink Sunny Delight and play Trivial Pursuit? They can't honestly be that stupid. They have to know, to some degree, that their kids are going off to get shitfaced and stoned out of their fucking minds. Great. And when your child gets sent home in handcuffs for making an ass out of themselves, or better yet, comes home pre-packaged in a cold body bag, I'll be laughing my fucking ass off as I read your child's obituary saying to myself: I told you so.