Here are some new mixed drinks that are sure to liven up any party or gathering.

Disco Lemonade:

It's the drink that killed the 70's. Made with a strong blast of queludes, lemons, the tears of people with broken dreams, and a heavy dose of cocaine sprinkled around the rim of the glass for that extra-rush of confidence you'll need to power walk into the modern day.

The Pitchfork:

The drink for the Indie-snob set. Essentially, it's a glass of lukewarm tap water. Indie trend-setters will say that it is underrated, but admit that it could use a splash of lemon. Overall: 8.6/10

Gay Tyrone:

This drink will turn even the toughest brother into a galavanting silly-nanny in no time. Made with wine coolers, multi-colored confetti, watermelon juice, and racism.

Old Yeller:

The meaty drink designed for the weight-lifter on the go. Good for protein. Made with dog meat, orange juice, chocolate syrup for flavor, and the liquid that comes out of a dog's eyeballs when they're put into a Jack Lalaine Power Juicer.

A.I.D.S.:

The drink so good you'll slowly die. Made with Absynth, Ice, Daquari, and Scotch. It's sure to lower your inhibitions as well as your white blood cell count.