Greetings Valtrex users,
Below are some movies I have discovered while tripping on peyote at the middle school down the block from my house...Ok the cops are coming...ENJOY!

DAYS OF THUNDER 2: EVEN THUNDERER

DIRECTOR: UWE BOLL
Starring: None other than the couch jumper himself...

and verne troyer.

TAGLINE: Hey Osama...Thunder's comin...

PREMISE: This movie is an action packed, heart wrenching tale of Cole Trickle; A retired race car driver who is out of a job and out of luck. After his midget friend is murdered with a rigged bottle of diet coke and mentos (The scene where the little bastard explodes is hilarious) he vows to avenge him, but that's just the half. Well anyway, he now runs a go kart track and he is then kidnapped and flown to afghanistan where he is forced to race against Osama Bin laden in a go-kart race to the death. He finds out it was Osama's Diabolical plan to put a mentos in that little bastards diet coke, causing his teeny stomach to explode like when I feed alka seltzer to seagulls. Anyway, can he defeat Osama "La Bamba" Bin laden and bask in all that go-kart glory, or will he be just another Victim of the unbeatable Dialysis-Mobile of LA BAMBA Bin Laden. COMING JUNE 2021...

HARRY POTTER and the GERIATRIC WIZARD'S COLOSTEMY BAG

DIRECTOR: Paul W.S. Anderson

Starring: The same bastards that are always in it.
oh and Jenna Jameson.

TAGLINE: MAGIC IS IN THE AIR AT HOGWARTS...AND IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.

Premise: Times have changed. Harry is old and eccentric. Hermione has changed her name to Hermoney and now turns tricks on Diagon Alley, and Ron has become a creepy pedophile who roams the grounds of Hogwarts using the cloak of invisibility and the wand of painful butt penetration. One thing will reunite them and bring them back. Voldemort has returned! but he has gotten a sex change after a long stay in amsterdam...

can harry and his friends find the wizards mystical shit bag and light it on fire on Voldemorts porch in time? Will Hermoney's love for elf cock stop them? Maybe Ron's love for little wizard hiney will slow them down! Can harry fight his fear of the color blue? COME AND SEE FOR URSELF. SUMMER 2018... WWW.MATUREFARMMIDGETSNUFFSEX.COM whoaaaa how'd that get in there...what is that site even about...yeahh well moving on....

AND THE LAST FILM...

DAPS: The Movie.

TAGLINE: ARE YOU DOWN WITH DAP?....S?

DIRECTOR: DAMIAN Son of the Devil's cousin's sister, twice removed.

Starring:

Colin Farrell as CARLO

Matt Damon as CHRIS

Jason Statham as DREW

The Big Show as TAVIS

Jessica Biel as LAUREN

Bruce Willis as BRENDAN

Emile Hirsch as MIKE SHANE

Tom Hanks as MIKE

Robert Downey Jr. as VIN

and Introducing La Pequena as SHAM the McGYPTIAN...

FURTHER CASTING TO BE ANNOUNCED....

PREMISE: When a massively, enormously popular comedy show decides to broadcast live from an extremely haunted gay porn studio, the joke will be on them. Minutes into the show they are attacked by an onslaught of semen covered ass zombies and ghost fluffers. Will they get out in time? Can they band together and use their mediocre comedic skills to keep the broadcast funny while their being covered with flying ecto-semen? Can Chris and Drew look past their differences and defeat the apparition of Long John McJizzHiney? Can Drew ever beat his addiciton to alcohol? Will You be able to watch La Pequena on screen for more than a minute without vomiting? Will I stop asking questions? CUMMING SUMMER 2009

SNEAK PEAK AT THE FINAL ENEMY LONG JOHN McJIZZHINEY