Greetings Valtrex Users,
NASA has announced that plans are being set to send humans to Mars by 2020. One of the scientists explained that the trip could take 2 years and put alot of stress on the astronauts. Schitzophrenia, psychosis, and just plain chaos were just some of the possibilities they explained the astronauts could encounter. The prolonged isolation and seperation from frends and family would put a great weight on the mind. So I will go through a list of some things I think could help pass the time.

An assortment of various types of alcohol.

Now if your stuck in this small capsule for 2 years with noone but the same 2 pricks to talk to I think a brew would really take the edge off. I say various types because if you're schitzophrenia kicks in your other personality might like a different beer than you and if he doesn't get it he may break a bottle and kill everyone on board. Which leads to my next item.

A small knife.

This has so many applications. The above reason obviously, but what if you land on mars and some purple fucker tries gettin your beers? You shank the motherfucker in the neck and belittle him while his partners cry like little bitches. Or you'll get vaporized, but either way your still the first person to stab an alien.

Tang.

HAHA see what I did there...Many different hot girls to suit each of the different personalities you develop during your journey.

Food.

I believe a Grilled stuft steak burrito from taco bell has everything an astronaut needs. Plus it beats freeze dried liver, and yes gas will be a problem, but it's delicious. So screw you. And don't worry about the hot women running away from you because you stink...the capsule is tiny so there aren't many places to hide.

A copy of "They Live"

Because you might need a lesson in alien ass-kickery and it's your lucky day, cuz Roddy Piper is teachin' that class this semester. And bring some shades and bubblegum for shits and giggles.

Other watchables...Like all seasons of 30 rock and That 70's show.

If you don't like these shows then bring other tv shows of your liking, but if you don't like these shows you're either a nazi or a pedophile so you shouldn't be going to Mars if all you wanna do is kill them cuz they're purple or rape their children.

The BFG-9000

This should be taken for obvious reasons, but if you can't figure it out...to blow shit up and show these aliens America's bigger dick intergalactic policy. And yes, I would bring such a big gun to compensate for my tiny...knife....yea that's it.

And finally...

No, not a hot, big tittied woman on a respirator...but the oxygen itself...wait...scratch that...I'll take Tits McWeezy too.

And with all these essentials, I believe the astronauts will have a successful and disaster free journey to the red planet...Or they will have a great party until they eventually run out of oxygen and food and wither away and die.

Adios
Love,
Sham the McGyptian