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IcerocketTODAY, THE COMEDY HAS DIED...AND HOLLYWOOD IS WEARING THE BLOODY GLOVE...
This is a sad day...the day...the laughter...died.
Submitted by Sham on Mon, 11/24/2008 - 7:52pm.
R.I.P. Ace...
Greetings Valtrex...I'm sorry,
I am holding back tears of anger...and rage. Today I happened upon a travesty...a mockery...an abomination. When I was younger, I treasured the movies I could watch over and over again and still laugh. Ace Ventura was that class of movie. Day after day I would sit and watch Jim Carrey's antics and I would laugh from the pit of my soul every time I watched the dolphin trainer scene or the shark scene. Well today, the essence...nay, the soul of this great movie franchise has been raped anally with such prejudice and such hatred that I come before you a broken and changed man bent on revenge. You say, "Hey Sham calm down it's just a movie". Well, I tell you while I'm with your mom, "Hey calm down it's just bukkake." I will stop ranting because I have a list to write. Jim Carrey has probably pulled his face from between Jenny McCarthy's exquisite breasts and fainted. Ace Ventura is dead folks...and they got it all on film...
I give you ::crying hysterically::
ACE VENTURA Jr. PET DETECTIVE
::Shoots himself in mouth::
THUD.
- Sham's blog
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oh f*ck!
Great; now I'm gonna have to kill myself again. It's getting harder and harder to think of creative ways to commit suicide. I think what I'll do this time is I'll smash out the back window of my car and back it up to a telephone pole. I'll get 400 Feet of rope and tie one end to the pole and the other around my neck. Then I'll jam on the gas in my car so that I can reach 88 mph and go back in time before I run out of rope and rip my head right off my shoulders. And if I do make it back in time I'll stop whomever had anything to do with this movie!!!
Either way those are the only two logical solutions for this problem.
And just to rub salt into the wound, it's a "straight to DVD" deals.
::vomits::
<33Chris
is this real? lol
LoL that kid looks like Ham lololololololololol.
Ha! I got pwned!!!
LOLOLOL omg
I KNOW WHAT I'M ASKING SANTA FOR CHRISTMAS!!!1!!
HATED IT!
sorry I couldn't resist.....
hahaha...nice Damian. And to all who are interested, I am throwing an Ace Ventura revival party where we watch Ace Ventura while ingesting peyote. We then parade around Silver Lake park searching for his soul and when we find it we must knock a goat unconscious, call it names, and then beg the spirit to inhabit the body. If this process does not work we go after that fat little fuck who thinks he can just walk into your room and pull down your spiderman underoos and defile you with your special edition Ace Ventura: When nature calls DVD, and replace it with...with...oh god what have they done!
From: Chronology of Jim Carrey Sequels, Not Starring Jim Carrey.
"Ace Ventura Jr.(2008)
No! No! No! This can't be happening. Later this year 'Ace Ventura Jr.' will be released in theaters across the country. The plot will revolve around Ace's son going off on an adventure to save his mother from wildlife poachers. Why was she captured by poachers? When did Ace Ventura Sr. have a son? Who's the asshole over at New Line Cinema that needs to pay off a mortgage? So many questions, so little enthusiasm."
I expect nothing less from an Obama administration.
I feel so bad for the world...where's that Doomsday button when you need it.
lol @ Ryan & Obama joke.
Also yes Vin, that Jim carrey post is really good also.
<33Chris
I think Sham summed it all up better though. Short, sweet, and on-topic. I was being more vauge in my Ace Jr. talking points.